Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Is Divorce Easy?

I was appalled when I read this article yesterday... so much so that I almost opened up a new post, but thought the better of it and decided to give you something to read today.

I'll give you a quick summary: CC married a soldier when she got preggo in college. She was stuck living in upstate NY with a kid while her husband was off galavanting for freedom. She wasn't happy. So some 8 years later or something, she made her husband go on reserve status.  Then 9/11 happened and he went active again. She decided, again, that she wasn't happy. So while he was deployed, after 12 years of marriage, she decided she didn't want to be married anymore, so she left. Its fuzzy as to the actual way she left, but I'm pretty sure she sent him a letter (what we call a Dear John letter) and probably used his power of attorney to divorce him without him even needing to be present, much less in the country. She then went on to marry a "lithe, blue-eyed Marxist (read-socialist... Obama should like him)" and now her son is going into the Naval Academy, although she still refers to him as a Soldier.

Ok, so maybe I didn't portray her in a great light, but she does a pretty shoddy job of that herself anyway.  I don't even know where to begin on how she is a twit!

First of all, she seems like the most self-centered human being on the earth (so apparently my mom was wrong when she thought that was me).  She seems to have no regard for what is going on in anyone around  her's life, how any of this is affecting them. All she cares about is that she had to take the slow path at Dartmouth and that she was stuck shovelling snow while he was keeping our country safe. Lady, news flash, he wasn't having a good time over there. Its not like he was lounging around next to the fireplace enjoying a 30 year old scotch! 

Oh and good, he made it home for her graduation! You are lucky he even dragged himself out of bed for that you self righteous bitch! 

And the poor lamb then she struggled to make food for their child all the while not being able to afford phone calls but for twice a month and with morning sickness, no less... a) if you didn't think you could handle a child, you should have had an abortion or given it up for adoption. b) you were an officers wife, living in upstate NY... the cost of living isn't high there and you should have had more than enough money with his BAH, BAS and seperation pay to cover any and all expenses.  Maybe he only called twice a month because you were such a miserable wretch! I wouldn't want to talk to you either!

Ok so then he went on reserve, but 9/11 happened... and can you believe it, that damn husband of hers felt a call to service again and became active... what was she to do now? She was alone with her 2 kids that were getting older and were more able to do things for themselves and didn't like seeing pictures of suicide bombers on the news... how was she ever going to get by?  Meanwhile, she was teaching students and "surfing all of their exuberant, sexy, rowdy energy"... I'm not quite sure what that is even supposed to mean, but I'm going to take is as she was want of sex and her husband wasn't around so she got off on their stories of "extracurricular activities".

Then the thing I hate the most... she left her husband while he was deployed. Again, who knows what courtesies she afforded him, but being the coward that she is, she ran when there wouldn't have to be any confrontation.  For that alone, I feel like she shouldn't be allowed to continue living. PERIOD.  Luckily for her ex, he is married, living in Germany and has started a real family.  I feel bad for the kids he left behind. Their mother obviously doesn't care about them, which is evident in the last part of her editorial.

Her son enlisted in the US Naval Academy... First, kudos to him! Thank you for your service, or willingness to serve!  Now CC doesn't know what to do! On his Induction Day, which is almost as important to a boy as his Graduation Day, his mother couldn't be there to watch him...  She "could not bear to be there, could not watch the child of my body step away from the safe, civilian world I'd tried to so desperately to create for myself and him."  So she made his father, the man she had stepped on for 12 years of marriage, the man she doesn't even have as much respect for as the dirt on the bottom of her shoe, come all the way back from Germany to stand with his son. And he does it because he is a STAND UP guy! But that bitch can't even bear to see her son off... Honestly she doesn't deserve to breathe!  And then, THEN!, she has the gall to call her son in the US NAVAL ACADEMY a SOLDIER! STUPID BITCH! DIE ALREADY!

Ok now that I have that out of my system, a few disclaimers:
I know not all miltary men are good men. Some of them aren't and we don't really know why. Maybe they came from a bad family background, maybe they were abused... whatever the reason, we can't psychoanalyze all of them or every situation that might occur to make them that way. However, her husband seemingly wasn't that way. He seems like he took the hand he was dealt with grace and his head held high. I respect him for dealing with someone like her and moving on and hopefully, he is happier than he ever was now. I truely hope that!
I also know that most women that marry military guys have this stigma, as CC does. "Oh it will be so romantic, he'll sweep me off my feet... blah blah blah". That's just not reality and I know we can't fault these women for thinking that and then finding out its another way once they get into it.  Maybe they should try to get out sooner rather than later, rather than stringing someone along for 12 years and then deciding "This just isn't going to work for me".
However, there are also those women that are out for themselves. I would know, my husband's 1st wife was one of those meal ticket chasers. I'd like to call her a bimbo, but that would imply that she was stupid, rather than manipulative and conniving. You have to be pretty cunning to convince someone to marry you and take care of the kid you had with someone else, that you are helpless without them.

A lot of young military men are stupid enough to fall for these "cougars" (I use the term cougar in a literal sense, as in an animal that is out hunting for prey).  And they learn from their mistakes... hopefully, there is someone at the end of the storm to respect them and show them that women aren't evil afterall. Many of them get married too young, when neither have thought things through... how is it going to be when I'm alone for 7-13 months or indefinately if something tragic happens? But we can't prevent these things from happening... people make mistakes and hopefully no one gets hurt too badly in the process and everyone grows up and stops wearing rose-colored glasses.

However you put it though, Dear John letters are contemptible.  I have no respect for CC and her socialist husband and I hope they rot...

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